Let it all out here

later today i have to go to her school and talk to some guys thats been giving her trouble, usually it always ends the same way, they try to fight me but in the end they get hurt *sigh* i dont understand why pick a fight with someone thats taller and stronger than you

Yeah, well, I've found that some people are just stupid and it's not limited to age. Meh, there are some people older than me who act immaturely. I just don't get it.

yeah, today im still doing research on women and gossip.
its been very educational so far

*sigh* I really need to get out some burdens if it's not troubling anyone.

First of all, some of you know about my mother's love affair. I was hoping that when we travel to Emirates, it will stop and everything will be back to normal but it didn't. I accidentally read some of my mother's IMs sometime ago and was shocked to read what I read. I couldn't manage to read except one sentence that was very breaking to me. It said, "I have missed your lovely lips."

I was like that --> then like that -->

I couldn't believe it! I thought Mum would come back to her mind but it didn't happen! That sentence could only mean one thing...

But worse, yesterday I got shocking news. My bf whom I loved and cared for very much...broke my heart. He told me that he no longer loved me. He said his love for me "burned out." But there was no reason. I don't understand. What have I done to him? And he didn't give me any reason.

Over all of that, my parents have been stressing me to study harder and harder. Really, how much can I take? I am so heart broken, depressed, stressed and tired. Oh, God, I sometimes wish to die.

Awww Love,

First let me give you a hug .

Man, your parents don't sound that much different from the way mine used to be except that my dad was way easier on me than my mom. I'm not sure if it's cultural differences or what not but that might have to do with your parents pushing you to study more. Assuming that you're not the lazy type, I think they're asking a bit much to force you to do more than your maximum. I mean, you need to eat, sleep, and all that other stuff, too. lol

Now on to your bf, I've already sent Greg after him since he's not happy that you're hurt. But man, I'm about to trash down on the male species or whatever but unfortunately, some guys out there are just jerks. Some guys don't express their feelings as well as females and they think we can be ok with being dumped or whatever. (And yes, I know some females out there are jerks, too. lol)

At this point, I think it's best not to think about him anymore. I'd find comfort in friends who can help you through this time and with time, you should hopefully find someone who's way better for you. Then again, I like to keep optimistic (well, I usually try to).

Thanks, phoenix.

About my parents, well, I am not lazy but I am not super hard working, too. Let's say I am in the medium but I always get great grades and all. I don't understand why would they push me to work so hard.

And about my bf, I can't just believe it. I am so heart broken. I loved him too much and I trusted him, too. I don't understand. I didn't do anything to him.

But sigh, I guess some people are really...*sighs*

Hi all,

Yeah, I know. It's the holidays and all that and I should be really happy at this time of year but I got some really bad news that just made me so angry and feels so unjust. (And yup, it's so bad that whipgirl wants to cause some serious damage. )

As some may know, I left a certain place some months back because of the bullying going on there and how the administration did a very poor job of handling it. Now there were other reasons I left that place. Anyway, I found out that a certain former mod who participated in the bullying has been put back as mod and I'm thinking, "What the...?" Someone must definitely have some screws loose. First off, in my business, if one of my employees ever bullied a parent or student, they would be punished accordingly and eventually fired if it continued. At any rate, I would never reward such bullying behavior. What this idiotic administrator has done (and obviously I'm not talking about here because I love it here) is send a very bad message that bullying is rewarded and I would never teach that kind of ethical behavior to my students. It's just wrong.

Also, what has ticked me off on this whole matter is that this administrator has lied to members over and over again. I know for a fact that she told her other moderators sometime back that she would never bring this bully back as a mod and now she does a complete 180. What a total liar. There have been other incidents where this person has lied over and over and yet there are those who turn a complete blind eye on it. Now maybe it's just me but where I come from, lying is unacceptable, especially running a business. Depending on how serious the lie is, a business can be subjected to lawsuits and such.

Now personally, I am so sick and tired of how this person has continually run her site and her business in general. She thinks that it's just ok to lie to people and reward bullying behavior and ignore the victims who have been hurt by it. Also, I know that this person engages in unethical behavior by wanting others to "help" her come up with ideas although I know that she will just steal them without crediting others with the idea because that's what she does. Make others do the work and then she takes credit.

Well, I feel a little better having ranted about this now. I won't say anything more and won't give details here but if anyone wants to know the details, send me a PM.

Man, that just made me like that.

Meh, I really don't know what to say. It seems that admin (I know who she is but I won't say anything) is pretty encouraging the bullying in her site better than stopping it. I don't know heartless can she be to ignore the victims there and just reward those who has done bullying. I understand how bad this is.

Being an admin myself and a site creator, I know how hard it is to run a website but this gives no excuse for the admin to do what is she doing. Stealing others' ideas, giving no credits, ignoring and rewarding bullies, etc, meh. I kind of feel that site shouldn't exist in the first place.

Kind of unbelievable but about two days ago, one of my friends who is still registered there told me that there has been someone who has been spreading bad rumors about people. Now I don't know anything about that but according to my friend, someone has been insulted privately (And I won't say who) there but none did anything. Man, I am glad I left that place.

Hi Love,

Thanks for the support and all. I really appreciate it.

Yeah, I know it must be shocking to hear about that place and what I know about that administrator. I've known the truth about her for quite some time and it saddens me that there are those there who are deceived by her and think that she's all good when there are those of us who really know what she's like. And honestly, it doesn't help, either, that someone who works with her there is pretty unethical herself. She did something some months back and hurt one of my friends in the process and it ticked me off. Now I could have been more understanding if this person just didn't know any better but she knew what she was doing was wrong and yet did it anyway. Sheesh. -_-

Anyway, I had no idea regarding the person there who's been causing trouble. Man, some people. It ticks me off as well that the moderators and/or administrators there have really done nothing about that (although in one person's case, I must excuse him since he really doesn't like it there anyway; in fact, it creeps him to even step onto that place O_O). I'm grateful that this place is nothing like that. I think we have a pretty good team in place and we take care of any trouble right away. After all, we all have a responsibility to take care of this forum because we all love it so much. And Love is a wonderful administrator and takes care of the site very well. ^^

Alex: Yup, I agree on that.

Greg: Second that.

Bryan: Woot! Love is a wonderful admin. ^^

Well, you know how my RP characters can be at times.

I agree as well.

I of all people should know how it is to be bullied and have people turn around behind me and allow that type of stuff happen. even though im not an admin i would never allow such unjust actions towards the people i cherish here. people like thast are just the wort in my eyes.

so I hope you feel better Phoenix

@Phoenix:

Awww, thanks so much. ^^ I just do my best, you know? I don't really want this place to be endured by darkness and evil like that other site. lol But of course, without phoenix being an admin by my side, this site would have never been the same.

And you know, the best thing in this site that there are some cute RP characters around who spread the fun.

@Kaisuto:

Thanks for the warm hugs and support. I'm glad to know that there are at least some people out there who believe in doing the right thing.

@Love:

lol Funny thing but one of my friends said the same thing about that awful place, too. It just saddens me when there are those out there who don't know the truth of it and I actually didn't think that kind of place could exist but I guess nothing should surprise me nowadays. Anyway, maybe I should make a wish that it gets destroyed or something (or at least that the wrongdoers get what they deserve in the end).

And yup, I love our RP characters, too. And they love Nerine, Lycoris, Rosalind, and Rosaline. They're so happy to have found love on this site.

Im happy to hear that you've cheered up

I am depressed. Totally. Miserably.

Few days ago, I had exams and I did badly at the geography, history and Arabic. Although I did very well in the rest of the exams and my mother didn't really punish me, I was still depressed and feeling down because of my neglecting.

Yesterday, one of my very close friends talked to me on YIM and told me that someone from the 'NLS' has been spreading dirty rumors around about me. Now I wouldn't say what are those things but being in my state, I'll put them in a spoiler.

Spoiler:

Now that only made me really mad. But worse was to follow.

Today, my dad made a 'mistake' on the comp (He was actually messing around.) and the comp got all formatted. I lost all of my important files and pics. The siggies, the renders, everything. But the worst thing that I lost was Lucky Guy!. Now I even lost the HCG and although I am planning to download it again, I feel too depressed to begin working on it all over again from scratch.

Now I am not angry at my dad, I can't be. He apologized and he really worked hard to fix it and I appreciate it a lot. But it's hard to lose something you really worked hard on and wanted to see complete.

Please cheer me up, guys. I am living a real nightmare. My country has been also going through a lot of killing crimes and all of them are really ugly. It makes me feel really depressed to see people suffering and being killed like that.

Im so sorry to hear that love. at times like these when you feel down and depressed its best to be comforted by friends, so i say we all try and cheer our good admin up. after all we all care for you

Dont worry sister.

I may or not know how it feels.

But at least you have us...*Bumps Kaisuto closer to her* and a handsome friend like him, more importantly ^_~

Please dont weep or surely ill make you weep a new one [Be so affectionate you'll cry in happiness]

I love you sister. I shall pray for you.

Plus your a beautiful woman, i know you would never watch such perverted things, nor live a lie.



You need to listen not to those who have corrupt hearts themselves.

You can endure this, i know this sister for i always have a shoulder for you to lean on.

A rumor is a lie, for however the truth got malformed, You should not care for what another thinks and stick with what you know.

Besides, The things these people put on the internet these days, i know you'll never watch, and should be kept between marriage.

The acts they commit are not wrong, but how they are willing to let such a beautiful thing go to waste cause they let their harmones get loose. That kind of things is preserved between a married male and female.

So the next time someone blames you for seeing adultrous things, they probably saw it themselves but wont admit the truth and will lie that you did it.

People are lost and corrupt, even at their old age, they blame others or spread bad rumors about you because they just wanna hate people without a reason.

I see into your beautiful eyes Love, i see a long ocean, gleaming with purity, even if you have your down sides, your sea of love is filled with Life, im so attracted to it, you have a warm heart i seek as well. to ge with your heart and to be at home in.

Do not let a lost or evil soul's assumptions make it cold.

Hi Love,

As you can see, I'm here way earlier than I usually would be. Well, it's the holiday and all but still.

I read your rant and man, I need to give you a hug first.

Ok, now here's what I would do about the situation. Omega would say ignore it but I know for me (and maybe for you, too), that's never been my style so here's what I suggest.

With studies, I think you know what to do since we talked about before. It's all a matter of scheduling and so forth and I'm sure you can do that. And it's ok not to do well in everything. Some of the greatest people in the world didn't do so well in school.

Ok, with NLS, this is what I'm going to advise. I really think that your friend (if he/she hasn't done so already) should report this matter to a moderator, even if this is happening through PMs. What this person is doing clearly is flaming and must never be tolerated. Now if that has already been done and the mods (and the admin as well) choose to ignore this abuse, then you should do what I suggested to you in PM sometime back. It's not so easy to do (I know) but sometimes what's best to do isn't always the easiest thing to do. And as for me, I know that place has become worse. It's like a place of evil and man, if members there don't see what's going on, they must be like completely brainwashed or something. O_O Anyway, there are things about that place that I don't like, either, and I won't sit back and let my friends or anyone else I care about get hurt ever. No matter what a person has done, no one deserves that and there needs to be good people out there willing to stand up against the evil ones.

Finally, on the game situation, I'm so sorry that happened. Of course, we're not blaming you for that. I would suggest that if it's possible, to buy a portable hard disk drive so in case this kind of thing happens again, at least you have all your important backed up files somewhere safe rather than on the computer's hard disk itself. I bought a portable HD sometime back because of what had happened to my old hard drive when it completely burned out. I didn't want to risk having to recover everything so I wanted a safe place for such things.

Also, you may want to take this opportunity to ask your dad to buy your own computer. I'm not sure how much money your family has but since you're a pretty serious game designer, it's probably a good idea for you to have your own computer. You may want to bring that up.

So I hope that things will get better for you, Love, and I'll always stand up for you, for we know that you're a good person.

Hi Pheonix *hugs*

... a external hardrive?

Hehe. Im with Phoenix on this sister xD

So stop being sad, and do whatcha think is right.

We all here for you =3

*hugs Pheonix and Kaisuto together* Let's face it, you have a very mature Sister like Phoenix, and a handsome friend like Kaisuto? =3

@Omega:

Yeah, I meant an external hard drive. I have a portable one so that's why I happened to mention it. It's very convenient for me since I can carry it around and yet it has so much capacity to store files.

ARGGGHH~!

(Rant mode)

Stupid NLSians

I can't believe their stupid words brainwashed me (rant rant rant)
I can't believe they brainwashed me into fixing my comp the wrong way

I'm so going to kill that SPE for interfering with my business, danged him.

That day when I tried to ask the reason for my flickering screen, they told me that it was the cable (THE CABLE?!), at first I didn't believe them so I went around and check in another place. There are lots of people tell that it was the cable's fault that the monitro flickers (THE CABLE?!).

So I decided to try to replug the cable (THE CABLE?!), but then when I tried open my desktop it gave me an error beep, the one similar to the 'fourth down' I had back on June so it must have something gone loose. Assuming it was the cable I tried to fix it a little. (THE CABLE?!)

Although its fine already but when I wanted to play HighStreet5 the screen gone all stripey, its weird I know! The DirectX suddenly malfunctioning after I replug the cable (YES! THE CABLE?!)

Argh, now I'm stuck with nothing to play, why does it have to gone malfunction when the Christmas Event in HighStreet5 is on!
(I can't get those Diamond Boxes, bricks and lightnings if I didn't play)

Now its all over for my desktop, although its fine but it still flickers (The reason was the old DVD at the living room). IF I tell this to my parents, they'll kill me because I have no more of my allowance in the bank and they didn't tell me that they withdrawed it to the bone to pay of my internet.

Now I'm in a terrible mode, this morning I troubleshot the problem by reinstalling the driver, but I realized its a limited DirectX and I can't even open programs that needs it to run, it gets more and more worst and the flickering too.

Well, at least my burden is lifted a little by someone who gave me some solutions to it and I don't feel so heavy. (also at least I still have the laptop to go on with my KPS) Well, I still have to finish that KPS demo in 5 days.

Now, my desktop is lingering to its death slowly little by little. If it dies completely and my parents knew about it, they'll wring my neck.

Rest In Peace, my dearest desktop
(I know you still can be used for simple stuffs but since you can't run my fave games I have to cut off you life-line forever)

*sob*

I feel better now letting it out

(Madness mode ON) ((Warning: May cause Heart Attack! Read at your own risk))

Spoiler:

(Madness mode OFF)

*cough*, sorry about that. I did that all the time when I ranted.

Awww, Kinn.

Man, I'm sorry that I wasn't online earlier. I needed to cool off my comp for a while and all.

*sighs* That place. It really has become a place of evil. Hopefully, you were able to contact my friend and he was able to give you some better advice for your comp situation.

I am thinking. I know I've said it before but you probably should consider buying a new comp-one that will last for at least a few years. Maybe you all could pool your money together and then be able to buy it. Share the comp, so to speak? It's the only solution I can think of since I know you're not working at the moment.

And on the upside, I loved your spoiler rant. I so agree with you on it. Justice will finally be served if that place can go down.

*Gives Love a hug and gives Kinnison a pat on the back*

@Love
I'm sorry for you lost...Like what the rest had mentioned, you should keep extra copies of files for just in case. I would recommend to have at least 2 copies of important documents, stored in pendrives, external hard disk driver or upload somewhere. I once lost a whole file of documents for my work when an error occur with my pendrive and I chose to "fix it" (which I should not have done) thus causing it to "fix" whatever problem that the pendrive might have had---which was to remove my entire document file--the very one I was going to use T__T Thank goodness those files were not too difficult to recollect--had to spent another day recollecting the data.

As for studies...Not everyone is good at everything. I wasn't really good in later only English was my sole best subject as I stand even in Maths---never really understood Additional/Advance Maths until I took A-levels in college. Parents tend to nag us about our grades because they are worried for us. Some parents have certain issues and insecurities of their own and unable to have full control of things, they kind of just freaked and vent their frustration at us. Though we cannot always have the understanding parent that others might have, we just have to do our best and make the best out of things. School subjects is not the only things in education as there are also other handy crafts and skills that are just as vital. Not everyone who had been successful in live are well-rounded. Thomas Edison, the guy who invented the light bulb went through about 1000 attempts before he succeeded. He never saw the unsuccessful attempts as failure but as inspiration to move forward (He said they were 1000 ways how not to make a light bulb)

@Kinnison
Deepest heart-felt condolence to you regarding the passing of your desktop.

Sorry to hear that those NSL people had been such a menace to you and Love. I was laughing (sorry if this appeared mean to some of you) reading what you wrote in the spoiler. At least you managed to let out some steam...As for me, if I was really mad...I think what I said would be even more horrible...I once got so mad with someone I didn't even want to see/hear from the person for at least after a day, otherwise I would have strangled her on the spot...

Thanks everyone for the support and hugs. ^^

@Phoenix:

Thanks so much for all your support to me. I really appreciate everything.

I know that for the studies, not everyone does very good in every subject but it got on my nerves that I don't really want to study. I know it sounds weird but yeah, I find it boring. The only subject I like (actually love) to study is English cause it's fun and interesting.

Regarding the NLS, yeah, I agree totally. I haven't actually thought about telling the mods or the admin since I have a feeling they won't do anything about it but I think its worth a try. If it didn't work, be sure to get a PM from me. XD

Regarding the game, I am really sorry. I feel it's my fault that I didn't save it elsewhere but I suppose I couldn't and feeling sorry now won't do anything. My father suggested to me, though, that he is going to buy me a laptop (Yays!) for me only when I enter high school (That means about a year and half away) so I'll be able to keep my files away from damage. In the meantime, I'll have to find a way to keep my things safe.

Hi Love,

I hope that you're feeling better and that the support helps lots. ^^

Yeah, you know, in a way, I can understand how you feel about school. The difference was that I was very good in most subjects but yet there were some that I didn't like. However, my parents pushed me to go in a certain direction, which ended up in being miserable until I took control of my own life. Long story there.

And yeah, with NLS, I do agree with you there. It's doubtful that the mods or admin will do anything. I mean, we've seen from history that they don't. But I figure that if you at least try to report it and they do nothing, then you can take further action, citing that you did try to report the issue but yet the incompetent leadership did nothing.

And that's really great news on getting a laptop. In the meantime, you could try looking into an external hard drive, like I suggested before. And I think Kinn posted in your Lucky Guy thread that you could try buying a thumb drive. Those are really convenient. I have a couple (my dad spoiled me and ended up buying me a couple lol) and they're really great to have. Very light and easy to carry around and they can store files, too. You could talk to your dad about it and see what shops carry them around and how much they cost.

I am not feeling better. I am feeling worse, much worse.

I am trying to re-download the RPG Maker to begin working on Lucky Guy! but unluckily, it isn't working. It gives me an error saying that the file is corrupted but whenever I try to re-download it, nothing happens. So from the end, it probably means I can't make Lucky Guy! again!

Worse, I tried to use Ren'Py to make it but it needs scripting and with that, I am totally bad. I can't even learn scripting.

So from the end, I lost all of my files and I can't even get them back. Even the sound files for Lucky Guy!, I lost them all and the site is down. T.T

Man, I really want to suicide now.