Let it all out here

More and more, with the exception of a couple people, it seems I'm th one who always has to initiate contact between me and my friends, which worries me, and makes me feel bad. If I want to talk with someone I consider a friend, I always have to initiate the conversation, and it makes me wonder if anyone wants to talk with me at all. The only people who still regularly contact me are my best friend, and his friend who I don't even consider a friend, but more of a casual aquaintence. Which just makes it worse. Someone who isn't even my friend will talk to me, but my real friends ignore me unless I go out of my way to talk with them.

It makes me feel cut off from my friends, and it makes me want to reach out to them less and less because I don't want to be the only one initiating contact. It makes me feel annoying. If they wanted to talk to me, they could, but since none of them do, it gives me the feeling noone wants to talk to me. And I don't mean just regular friends. That doesn't bother me, but people I consider close.

Aw, I am sorry to hear that, Anarch. But you can always consider us as your friends, even if we don't talk regularly. You have a gift in art and writing and I am sure you are not annoying. Indeed, I have seen you posting around quite a lot and quite cleverly. You are a great friend to have, and from now on you can consider me as your friend.

Thanks, that made me feel a lot better. It's good to know this place is full of great people, and I'll gladly consider you my friends.

Hi Anarch,

I know what it feels like to be cut off from your friends. I've learned from experience that if this happens, it might be a good idea to consider if they really are your friends. (Or maybe they're just busy and don't have time to chat.)

But anyway, you'll always have a home here.

I apologize for the double-posting but I really needed to rant and all.

I went to the Playfirst forums earlier and found that someone attacked me on my post, implying that I was taking the bully's side when that wasn't the case at all. I was actually trying to be neutral in the matter because I don't know what happened and that being the case, I didn't think it was fair for me to start attacking this member. All I did was advise her on what she should do if she felt that people were attacking her unfairly but I wasn't taking her side. So then one of the "victims" attacked me. I guess it's because she didn't like what I posted but really, she misinterpreted what I meant. I can understand what it's like to be attacked, whether the attack is justified or otherwise.

I guess I just needed to rant and let all of that out.

Sounds like the "victim" was being more of a bully then a victim.

Hi Anarch,

Yup, I realized this as well after I had posted my rant. At first, I felt really bad for this person for what happened to her and then the mods there did resolve the situation. But I guess the victim wanted an apology and since the bully wouldn't give it, she got mad and she and her friends decided to go on a witchhunt for this person, which disturbed me. I actually do believe that people should apologize if they did wrong but not force one out of them and it disturbs me that that's what happened there. All those threads directly attacking this person and all.

Aw, I am really sorry to hear this, Phoenix. It's sad to know that some people don't respect each other on certain matters. And it also is sad to know that some victims actually act like bullies.

Thanks, Love. It helped that I was able to just let all of that out earlier.

But yeah, like I did not like that victim attacking me and she totally twisted my words to make me look like I didn't care about what had happened. I did and I did feel bad for her but rather than people putting it aside and moving on, some felt the need to continue dredging it up. I guess at first, that's not that big of a deal but it's gotten to a point that it's getting pretty bad and I even posted there that this is one of the reasons I don't want to bother posting there. (I won't for a while anyway. I'm hoping that things will cool down there although I'll still hang out at the site but just not around the forums.)

Anyway, I kind of think that the victim should have just sent a message to a mod or staff member there about the situation if she felt that the problem wasn't really resolved rather than making the issue public and inciting some sort of riot and angering others in the process. Oh well.

Okay, I really am so angry now that I am crying of my anger. I really am frustrated, pissed off and in a bad mood.

Well, some of you may know about my mum's love affair. Well, I have been watching the messages and fortunately, it stopped for a while. But the worse came.

My mum keeps talking to men online the whole day! And not only that, she sometimes talks to men using the mobile at night! At midnight!

Well, here, a married woman shouldn't talk to men, at least not at midnight!

And guess what? She keeps mocking me about talking to my boyfriend most of the day. (She doesn't actually know he is my boyfriend, but she thinks he is only a friend.) Yes, you might think that it is bad to keep such a secret but I can't tell them, they wouldn't understand.

Well, that helped.

O_O Now I understand why you're so upset, Love. It's completely understandable and I'm sorry that you're feeling this pain.

I think you may need to tell your dad what's going on. I know that you're not comfortable with that but keeping this inside is only hurting you. Your mom should be thinking about you and your brother rather than thinking of herself.

I hope that things will get better for you and you know how to contact me if you ever want to talk further.

A similar thing happened I think with my parents, a long time ago.

After we got our computer, and got it online, my mom started using the internet, and chat sites, and forums, and I think my Dad got suspicious of the people she was talking to online, and in the chats. I don't know whether she was chatting inappropriately with people or if she was just regularly chatting, but my Dad thought something was going on.

I didn't really notice this much, but eventually my parents broke up, I was probably around 14 at the time, it didn't bother me so much, but it did my younger brother. My younger bro stayed with my Dad, and I went with my Mom.

For a couple of years my parents rarely talked to each other, and blamed each other for the breakup, arguing over who should get what, but since then they've become friends again. My mom actually handles my Dad's banking for him now(because he can't do it himself.)

My parents are probably a weird case, and you can't really compare my parents with yours, just letting you know you're not alone.

Thanks, guys. I really might tell my dad but I'll have to find enough courage to do so. I am so frightened.

But what's really pissing me off, is that Mum takes really good care of my brother. Everything he desires is always at his command. She rarely scolds him or yells at him. And when you look at him, he's totally a bad boy! He never works, he hardly studies and he always uses the computer and watches TV! But I do all the work, I study, I get the great marks and I help my Mum. What do I get? Insults, beating up and hurt.

I really am so...

I cant say I know how you all feel, but Tommorow my parents are getting divorced. at first i didnt care, but th more i think about it the more I realized how my life's changing.
and as much as i want everything to go back to the way things were it will never be the same, my dad's changed, my mother ist the person i use to love so much, even my brothers have changed.
So i figure its time for me to grow up and move on, i must leave behind that happy past and head through this hard time.
I want each and every one of you to no matter what, keep a smile on your face. I know everyone is going through some rough times. but in the end no matter what happenens that smile and the help of your friends will help u make it through.
but friends are the most important, keep your best friends closet to you, because without them you wont be able to make it through

Awww, guys. I have to hug the two of you.

It is hard to see the good when there is so much bad going on but I guess that's why there's this thing called faith. Sometimes it's hard to keep it when it seems like the bad wins. I hope that you all can endure the tough times.

@Love:

Aww, sweetie. I'm not sure what to say. Your mom probably reacts the way that my mom does, although I'd say that my mom was slightly better in the way that she treated me. And then there were circumstances in why she gave preference to my brother so I couldn't get upset about that.

If your loved ones can see how much pain they're causing, I would think that they have to do something about it and not just ignore it. Even if it results in something bad happening, we can only hope that in the end, it leads to something good.

But I hope that things will get better for you and you always have us to lean to.

ah dont worry about me, today might be alittle tough but i must have optimism that ill have a better tomorrow

@pheonixgirl

@Love
hang in there, things will change for you

Aw, thank you, everyone.

@Kaisuto:

Aw, I really am sorry to hear that. I know how it feels like since my parents almost did it. (They forgave each other, though.) I really hope things get better for you, dear friend.

@Phoenix:

Thanks a lot, phoenix. I really apperciate it.

My mother has no reason at all to treat my brother better than me. I mean, I always help her and I never let her down, is that my reward? My mum always prefers my brother because he is just kinder than me. (Gee, I have to admit that. >.<) But I don't think that is an enough reason for this cruel treatment I am getting.

@ Love
I know how you feel, i always get treated wrongly for no reason. and while my brothers get psp's and xbox's all i get is reasons why i dont need one.

shes just out to get me because of me telling her off because she hates my gf and i truly love her deeply

My bro gets 20 bucks every weekend, plus money for cigs (terrible habit) whenever he runs out.

I get nothing.

My parents excuse is I'm old enough to make my own money, my bro is in highschool.

But when I was in highschool, all I ever got was money for a drink. Which my brother also gets on top of everything else.

@Love:

I guess what some are saying is that sometimes, there's no logic in certain parents' madness. lol But really, there are times that no one can really understand why a parent acts the way that he/she does. (I know that I'm hesitant to become a parent because I see the way that some children act.)

Also, it's pretty normal for parents to be harder on the older child than the younger one. Something to do with the older ones having to be more responsible and all that. But younger ones should be responsible, too.

@Kaiusto:

Yeah, I understand. Parents are really harsh these days. I am not asking for anything but it's getting on my nerves that my parents are taking care well of my brother while I am in the trash.

And my parents don't like my boyfriend too, even though they don't know he is my boyfriend. *sigh*

@Anarch:

O_O That's pretty harsh. I wonder why your parents acted this nice way to your brother.

@Phoenix:

Yeah, I guess. Sometimes I just sit with myself and wonder what am I going to do if I become a parent (although I don't want to. lol) and I see it's pretty hard. But well, me and my brother have grown up. My parents think that since I am 12 now, I should even work and marry.

@Love:

Now that's disturbing. Meh, we live in the 21st century, not back in caveman days.

Well, I'm not sure what else to say except that when times get tough, that's when you find out who your friends are.

Thanks, Phoenix. ^^ And yeah, good thing they are not searching for a husband yet.

Yeah im not sure if i'd wanna rush into getting married and everything, but if i were to get married I'd marry my current Girlfriend because she's sweet, shy, caring of others, clumsy at times, and she has such a cute giggle.....anyway my parents said we wouldnt last for a month, but here we are 8 months later with only 2 fights and a whole lotta love

@Kaisuto:

Awww, that's so sweet. Guess that proves that parents can be wrong at times.