Romance RP

(Coolies. Nite, nite, phoenix. ^^)

Lycoris nodded and then followed Matthew inside the room. She couldn't help feeling a bit nervous although she tried to be as calm as possible. After Matthew had closed the door, she said,

"Please don't be angry at the butler. He didn't want to bring me here but I insisted. Umm why didn't you come to pick me up as usual? And you don't want to have breakfast with the others either."

Matthew sighed sadly and replied, "You should be able to answer your question.  I mean, it should be obvious."

Lycoris sighed inwardly and was silent for a moment, as she definitely could answer her own question. She quietly replied, 

"It is. But I...I didn't say that I was angry at you, or that I didn't want you to come pick me up as usual. I only asked you not to repeat what you did, and I am sure you won't. So why are you withdrawing yourself away from me?"

Matthew replied, "I-I thought it'd be better if there was some distance between us, at least for a bit.  I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me."

Also, he felt like he was starting to lose a little trust in Lycoris' other self, as she had promised to remain in control when they awoke but she didn't.

(If I'm slow in posting, it's either because I'm gaming or maybe doing editing stuff but I wanted to let you know.  XD)

(Ahh no problem. Sorry I was late in posting. I was taking care of some chores and all. XD)

Lycoris admitted inwardly that she wasn't as comfortable as she was before around Matthew, especially with how close he became to her other self. Part of her felt angry at him that he didn't respect her privacy as she wished. But this wasn't the time to say all that.

She sighed and replied, "I don't want you to distance yourself or keep yourself alone in your room, away from everyone. It's ok."

(No problem.  ^^)

Matthew looked a little doubtfully at Lycoris and carefully replied,

"So, does this mean you forgive me?  And if you do, I want you to mean it because if it's just words, they'll be meaningless."

Lycoris was silent for a moment, as she couldn't answer yes, for that wouldn't be completely true. Deciding to be honest, she replied tentatively,

"If I answer you honestly, do you promise me to try to understand me, and not be upset at me?"

There was no hesitation as Matthew nodded and replied,

"Yes, I promise I'll try to understand and not get upset."

Lycoris took a deep breath and quietly replied,

"I-I can't say that I have forgiven you completely. I know you didn't mean to hurt my feelings but I-I am disappointed at you, Matthew. I expected you to be at my side, and I put my total faith into you that you'll be my support against my other self. She-she is an enemy to me, Matthew, not a friend. But this isn't what happened and you two kept getting closer and closer. I-I am feeling left out, Matthew. Like you are on her side and I am suddenly all by myself."

She bit her lower lip and kept her composure, trying to remain steady, stern but gentle in the same time.

Matthew felt hurt by Lycoris' words but took them all in stride.  Taking a deep breath, he replied,

"I understand your feelings.  Now, I want you to listen to me.  Will you give me that chance?"

Lycoris nodded and wanting to be fair, she needed to listen to what Matthew had to say for himself. She replied,

"Yes, of course. Please speak."

Matthew nodded and replied, "Ok, here it is.  I do understand your feelings towards her.  I get it.  I just think you two should talk things out.  I understand how she feels and it's only natural.  It's only human to want to live.  It's not like she wants to commit a criminal act or anything.  She just doesn't want to die.  Now, yes, this is your body and I know you didn't want her from the beginning but things are the way they are and it's best to try to adjust to the situation.  Have you even tried talking to her, come to some sort of compromise?  It can't just be one way or the other.

And no, this isn't me going against you but I'm not siding with her, either.  I know it looks like it and I can't deny how she makes me feel at times but if she ever crossed a line that would involve hurting people, I couldn't forgive that."

Although Matthew made it a point to say that he wasn't against her nor siding with her other self, Lycoris couldn't help but believe that it was that way. Whenever someone would tell her that she needed to talk with her other self, she couldn't help but feel that way. 

She was silent for a few moments, then she quietly said, "I know that you two have feelings for each other, and I-I guess I should understand that my decision to sacrifice myself will come between you two. I-I am selfish for thinking that way, I know. But I-I hate that she lives in my body, takes my name and everyone treats her as though she is me but she is not. She is not me and it wasn't my fault she was created. Please don't simply tell me to 'adjust.' Please don't."

She bit her lower lip harder, doing her best to remain composed although it was getting harder to do so.

Matthew replied,

"I'm sorry.  I'm sorry that I hurt you.  I just wish that there was a way that I could separate you two, so you both get what you want.  That would make everyone happy, wouldn't it?"

Lycoris nodded and after a moment of silence, she took a deep breath and maintaining her composure, she replied quietly,

"Is there no way that you know of that would make only sacrificing me possible? So only I-I would go and my other self would survive the event?"

Although she hated that and hated the idea that her other self would survive to live in her name, she found no other solution to the whole problem.

Matthew looked thoughtful and replied, "Anything's possible.  If I knew of how this all happened, then I could look through my books and notes and come up with a spell or potion or procedure."

Lycoris nodded and replied,

"I can get you in contact with the person who cast the duplicate spell on me then, the one that was responsible for creating her. Then maybe you can reach a way, especially if you work together or something, right?"

She knew that would mean contacting Ryan and asking for his help, and although it was risky, there was no other way.

Matthew nodded and replied, "Yes, that would certainly work.  If I knew the specifics of the spell cast on you, I could certainly work on finding a solution.

But first, perhaps we should get something to eat?  It's better to work on a full stomach, I think."

Lycoris didn't really have an appetite after the conversation they had, and didn't feel like she could put something through her mouth anymore. But knowing that saying that would raise concern on Matthew's part, she replied,

"Can I have breakfast in my room? I don't want to see the others yet nor face anyone for now."

Matthew looked disappointed for a moment but then getting an idea, he replied, 

"Ok, but on one condition.  I have breakfast with you.  It's fine if you don't wish to see the others but the both of us should eat.  You were worried about me earlier and I don't want to worry about you."

Lycoris didn't know how to get away from that, as anything she would say would worry Matthew about her. Deciding to try to eat anything, she nodded and replied,

"Ok, if that's what you want."

Matthew nodded and replied, "Ok, then it's settled.  I'll take you back to your room and we'll ask one of the maids to bring us some breakfast and to let the others know of our absence."

He got up and gently held onto Lycoris' arm but waited for her ok before escorting her back to her room.

Lycoris nodded and followed Matthew out of his room and back to her room. She was quiet for the most part and felt suffocated although she maintained a look that didn't reflect her feelings, as she didn't want to talk about the matter again.

As Matthew and Lycoris arrived back in Lycoris' room, Olivia was just finishing up tidying the room.  Matthew turned to Lycoris and said,

"I'm glad you're still here, Olivia.  Would you bring breakfast for both of us and let the others know that we won't be joining them?"

Olivia nodded and replied, "Of course, sir."

She turned to Lycoris and said, "I cleaned up your room, miss.  Is there anything else you'd like me to help you with while I'm getting breakfast?"

Lycoris smiled softly to Olivia and shaking her head, she replied,

"Thank you very much, Olivia. I appreciate your help and effort."