Snow Rose Games
Hello! It looks like you are not logged in or registered. Please log in or register now.
Snow Rose Games
Hello! It looks like you are not logged in or registered. Please log in or register now.
Snow Rose Games
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.


When Passion and Fun Meet
 
PortalPortal  HomeHome  SearchSearch  Latest imagesLatest images  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  
WE MOVED! "www.snowrosegames.webs.com"
Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
Our Games


Who is online?
In total there are 2 users online :: 0 Registered, 0 Hidden and 2 Guests

None

Most users ever online was 152 on Sat Oct 02, 2021 9:14 pm
Latest topics
» Happy Birthday, Love! ^^
Finding the One EmptySat Apr 08, 2023 7:31 pm by phoenixgirl

» The Assassin
Finding the One EmptyTue Jan 17, 2023 9:33 pm by phoenixgirl

» Romance RP
Finding the One EmptySun May 22, 2022 10:50 pm by phoenixgirl

» Happy Birthday, phoenixgirl!
Finding the One EmptyThu May 19, 2022 4:56 am by Miss Nile

» Happy Birthday, Love! ^^
Finding the One EmptyFri Apr 08, 2022 11:03 pm by phoenixgirl

» Happy Birthday, phoenixgirl!
Finding the One EmptyWed May 19, 2021 3:00 am by phoenixgirl

» Happy Birthday, Love!
Finding the One EmptySun Apr 11, 2021 7:40 pm by phoenixgirl

» Happy Birthday, phoenixgirl!
Finding the One EmptyMon May 18, 2020 6:16 pm by phoenixgirl

» Happy Birthday, Love! ^^
Finding the One EmptyWed Apr 08, 2020 10:46 pm by phoenixgirl

Search
 
 

Display results as :
 

 


Rechercher Advanced Search

 

 Finding the One

Go down 
4 posters
Go to page : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next
AuthorMessage
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyWed Jan 25, 2012 5:48 am

Note: I've had this idea in my head for some time now so I finally decided to start writing it. This is my first anime fanfiction so it might not be very good. lol This will be a chapter fanfic which is going to be more difficult for me since I usually prefer to write one-shot stories. I'll try to update as often as I can although I'm not sure how often due to real life and Facebook and all that. XD Anyway, feel free to comment and if there's something you don't like or feel that it's out of place, please tell me but make it constructive criticism. Wink

Thanks and now on to the story. ^^

Finding the One

Chapter 1

“So, Callie, are you feeling better?” asked Natalie, who was sitting on the couch while munching on popcorn and watching TV.

I nodded and simply sat beside her without saying a word. Yes, that’s me, Callie. I’m 22 years old and have wavy brunette hair that falls just below my shoulders. I’m on the short side in stature although my other features, such as my brown eyes and favorable facial features, make up for it. Next to me is my best friend Natalie who looks a lot like me although her hair is shorter and has a lighter brown color than mine. We’ve been best friends since we were children, growing up together, sharing in our happy times and in our saddest moments. I’m a writer and I’ve had a couple of books published so I’m pretty well off financially while Natalie is a nurse at the city hospital. As well as being best friends, Natalie and I are housemates and we live in a medium sized house with four bedrooms and the standard living room, kitchen, and other such rooms. In other words, we live in a pretty well off suburban-type house near the city.

So you might be wondering why Natalie asked about me before. The short story is that I had gotten off the phone with my mother and we argued again. It was always the same thing. She had bothered me yet again about getting married or at least finding a boyfriend. Arguing with her frustrated me as well as exhausted me. I would have thought that having a successful career would be enough although my mother doesn’t like that I chose to be a writer, to have a creative career, rather than go into research or medicine like my dad. I am pretty intelligent and have an IQ level that’s almost genius level but I’d rather have fun with my life than take everything so seriously. However, that’s a story for another time.

Natalie and I were sitting on the couch and there was a bowl of popcorn between us. It was almost time for our favorite anime, Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s. While we waited for another episode to come on, Natalie turned to me and said,

“I know I’ve said it before but you shouldn’t let her get to you like this. It’s not healthy.”

I sighed and replied, “I know and I try not to but she always finds a way to push my buttons and I’m so sick and tired of it. I should just not speak to her for a long time. Maybe then she’ll finally take the hint. Besides, it’s not like she has any right to lecture me about guys. She didn’t marry my dad for romance and all that. If I find the right guy, I know that in my heart he’s the one. I’ll feel it inside.”

I looked to the TV and saw that Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s had finally come on. There was my favorite guy, Yusei Fudo, riding on his D-wheel, looking as brave, determined, and courageous as ever. Then I continued, “Anyway, none of the guys I’ve ever met have compared to Yusei. He’s wonderful. Now that’s the kind of guy I’d want to be with.”

Natalie was watching TV with me when she laughed quietly after hearing my latter comment. She then replied, “Aww, I know Yusei is cool to a lot of girls but come on. No guy in real life is like him. You’re looking for perfection and it doesn’t exist. Now if you were looking for a guy like Jack,” she pointed her right index finger to the television to the blond guy riding a white-colored D-wheel next to Yusei’s, “then it might be possible to find one.”

I rolled my eyes and replied, “Whatever. You’re just saying that because you have a crush on Jack.”

Natalie gave a slight pout and then turned her attention back to the TV without commenting further.

We were watching an episode after the saga of the dark signers had ended and it was then that I noticed something strange. I saw Yusei and Jack being chased by what looked to be more dark signers but this confused me since I know the whole plot behind the anime and the dark signers didn’t make an appearance after the defeat of Goodwin. I turned to Natalie and said, “This isn’t supposed to happen. I don’t remember this at all.”

Natalie looked confused, shrugged, and replied, “Maybe the writers decided to change the story a little?”

I raised an eyebrow and was about to respond when suddenly, there was a flash of white light coming from the TV. At the same time, there was a flash of light coming from what looked to be right outside the house. As it was nighttime and the neighborhood was usually pretty dark and quiet at this time, the light was out of place. Getting up, I said, “Let’s check it out.”

Natalie got up and nodded but stayed right behind me. I could sense that she was a little afraid of what was going on outside so I decided to check things out first. Slowly and quietly, I opened the front door and looked outside to see the cause of the light. I couldn’t believe my eyes. All I could say was,

“There’s no way…”
Back to top Go down
Miss Nile
.
.
Miss Nile


Female
Number of posts : 60416
Age : 28
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyWed Jan 25, 2012 1:38 pm

Ohh nice. I think this is going to be one interesting story. The concept is new, and I can't wait to see how will the characters interact with each other later on. Very Happy

Ahh one question. Are you using the Japanese names for this? Because I noticed that you called the duel runner a 'D-Wheel'. Just wondering, that's all. xD
Back to top Go down
https://snowrosegames.forumotion.com
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyThu Jan 26, 2012 2:21 am

Thanks. ^^ I've read quite a few fanfics recently and I haven't seen a lot that takes this concept so we'll see how it goes. XD

And I hadn't thought about the names but I think for the characters, I'm going to stick with the English names. For everything else, I'll use Japanese since here, we get the anime with more of the Japanese subtitles and all that. I should probably make it clear at some point that Callie is familiar with both the Japanese and English names but I'll see where I can add it. XD
Back to top Go down
Miss Nile
.
.
Miss Nile


Female
Number of posts : 60416
Age : 28
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyThu Jan 26, 2012 3:11 pm

Ahh I see. I was just being curious, that's all. Good luck with it and I will be following behind. ^^
Back to top Go down
https://snowrosegames.forumotion.com
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyFri Jan 27, 2012 5:10 am

Ok, next chapter is all done so I'll post it now. Hopefully, this will resolve how Callie knows the term 'D-wheel' and all. Wink

Chapter 2

Standing in the doorway and looking out at the scene before me, I stood there, not knowing what else to say or to think. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Right there in the front yard were what looked to be two D-wheels, one red and one white. They looked awfully close to Yusei’s and Jack’s. However, not only did I see two D-wheels but I saw two guys unconscious on the front yard and they looked exactly like Yusei and Jack.

My mind was trying to take everything in when Natalie looked over my right shoulder to see what was going on. She noticed Yusei and Jack as well and before I knew it, she exclaimed,

“Oh my gosh! That’s J-!”

I put my right hand over Natalie’s mouth to indicate to her to quiet down and be calm. Then I replied, “I know it looks like them but we can’t be sure that it is them. Besides, what if they were to wake up and hear you screaming?”

Natalie gave me a look and replied, “It has to be them. Like what are the chances that two completely random guys with duel runners land on our front yard and look exactly like Jack and Yusei from 5D’s?”

I had to admit to myself that Natalie did have a point although there could have been other explanations. For now, though, there were more important matters to attend to, like making sure that the guys in our front yard were all right.

Sighing, I replied, “Let’s figure this out later. First, we should check on them to see if they’re injured.”

Natalie nodded and the two of us walked to the front yard. I went to check on the guy that looked like Yusei while Natalie checked on the one that looked like Jack. They appeared to be out cold but fortunately only had minor injuries. As Natalie was a nurse, she checked the both of them briefly for any additional injuries and such and after a few minutes, she said,

“They look ok-just unconscious. We should take them inside where they can rest.”

I nodded and carrying the Yusei look-a-like on my shoulders, I led the way back inside the house. Natalie followed my lead, doing the same to the Jack look-a-like. As we were carrying the guys up the stairs to the spare bedrooms, I noticed that Natalie was struggling a bit and so quietly asked, “You doing ok back there?”

Natalie replied, “I’m fine but he’s a little heavier than I thought he’d be.”

I suppressed the urge to giggle and just continued going up the stairs. Once we arrived on the second floor, I opened the door to one of the spare rooms and carried Yusei-for now, I’ll call him Yusei since he does look a lot like him-inside. Carefully, I placed him on the bed and took off his helmet and boots. Then I covered him up with a blanket. Natalie did the same for Jack, putting him in the spare room next to Yusei’s.

After the guys were settled, I went to see Natalie and said, “I’ll go see to their D-wheels. I should put them in the garage for now so the neighbors don’t see.”

Natalie replied, “Ahh you mean their duel runners. Sure, I get it.”

I’d forgotten to mention that I’m familiar with 5D’s in both the original Japanese with subtitles as well as the English dubbed version. As Natalie has only watched the dubbed version, she calls them duel runners while I call them D-wheels.

So I went outside and it looked to be quiet in the neighborhood so it looked like things would be ok. Quietly, I opened the garage door and moved both D-wheels inside. Then I closed the garage door and secured it. Now it looked like how things were before the white flash of light landed.

After everything looked ok outside, I went back into the house and then locked the front door. Briefly going into the living room, I turned off the TV, figuring that neither Natalie nor I were going to be in the mood to watch TV after what happened. Then I went back upstairs and looked inside Jack’s room where Natalie was attending to Jack, making sure that he was comfortable and all. Natalie saw me return and briefly leaving Jack’s side, she approached me and asked,

“Is everything secure?”

I nodded and replied, “Yeah. The neighbors won’t be able to tell that anything strange happened. The last thing we need is for anyone to poke around here when these guys need to rest.”

Natalie replied, “That’s for sure. I guess all we can do now is attend to them and wait for one of them to wake up.”

I replied, “Yup. You should get back to looking after Jack and I’ll look after Yusei.”

Natalie gave me a slight smirk and replied, “Oh so now you admit that they are the same Jack and Yusei.”

Quickly, I shook my head and replied, “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just easier to call them by those names than add the ‘look-a-like’ part at the end.”

Natalie smiled and replied, “Ok. We should get back to our patients. See you later then.” She then returned to Jack’s side and checked his forehead for any signs of fever or sickness in general.

I went back into Yusei’s room and I observed that Yusei was still unconscious. Other than the fact that he was unconscious, he looked perfectly all right so I took a chair and placed it next to the bed, watching him. While I was doing so, thoughts kept racing through my head. I wondered what had happened, what had caused that white flash of light, and most importantly, whether the two guys that Natalie and I were now looking after were really Yusei and Jack. It seemed impossible that they could enter our world but yet here they were. However, I’d have to wait for one of them to wake up to find out for sure if they were the same guys.

As the hours of the night passed, my eyelids became heavy as I continued to watch Yusei. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep, unaware that Natalie had fallen asleep as well while watching Jack.

Note: I hope I pulled this off somehow. XD I promise that in the next chapter, Yusei and Jack will wake up so we'll see what happens when they interact with Callie and Natalie. ^^
Back to top Go down
Miss Nile
.
.
Miss Nile


Female
Number of posts : 60416
Age : 28
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyFri Jan 27, 2012 5:21 am

Ahh pretty cool. I gotta admit that this one was a bit short, but pretty nice nonetheless. I expected Natalie and Callie to show more surprise than this, but I think it was pulled off all right.

And the part about D-wheels/duel runners, it sounded pretty fine. xD

Looking for the next update. ^^
Back to top Go down
https://snowrosegames.forumotion.com
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyFri Jan 27, 2012 5:25 am

Ahh yeah, I guess it was a bit on the short side but I wanted to cut off the chapter before the next day. I think the next chapter will be longer although I can't make any promises on that. XD

Natalie is more excited so she's not so shocked while Callie is more guarded and skeptical. In following chapters, there will be more background info, especially on Callie, on why they are that way. ^^
Back to top Go down
Miss Nile
.
.
Miss Nile


Female
Number of posts : 60416
Age : 28
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyFri Jan 27, 2012 6:28 am

Ahh that will be cool. Background info personally interests me a lot, since it builds your view on the characters and all. ^^
Back to top Go down
https://snowrosegames.forumotion.com
ELIE-3173
.
.
ELIE-3173


Female
Number of posts : 2026
Age : 37
Location : Malaysia
Title : Lady Xάος (Khaos)
Registration date : 2008-06-15

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyMon Feb 06, 2012 6:18 am

Hi Phoenixgirl,

It's been a while since I've been here. It's good to be back Smile

I like your story, looks promising Smile

Hope to be able to read more soon.
Back to top Go down
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyMon Feb 06, 2012 11:20 pm

Thanks, Elie. It's good to see you back. ^^

I'm working on the next chapter. It's definitely longer than the previous ones. Not sure where I can cut it off. lol But I'll figure it out. XD
Back to top Go down
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyWed Feb 08, 2012 5:37 am

Whew, just finished chapter 3 so I'm posting it here now. I'll make a note at the end. ^^

Chapter 3

The next morning arrived and I could tell by the sound of the sparrows chirping outside the bedroom window. Slowly, I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw were my feet. For a few moments, I had thought that perhaps the events of last night were a dream. That would certainly make a lot of sense, for I had no reasonable explanations over what happened. However, once I raised my head and looked over at the bed, I realized that last night’s events weren’t a dream. There was Yusei, sound asleep still. I gazed at him and couldn’t help but smile. He looked so peaceful lying there in bed. Part of me did hope that the man in front of me was the same Yusei from 5D’s although I had to be realistic and conclude that he probably wasn’t, that it was more likely that he happened to look a lot like the same person.

I continued to gaze at him for several minutes and then I saw him move. He was waking up and quickly, I averted my eyes so that it didn’t look like I had been staring at him for long. Once he was awake, I glanced at his eyes and they were the same midnight blue as Yusei’s from 5D’s. I loved that color, for I thought it was the most beautiful color ever. The man in front of me saw me after having gained consciousness and he looked confused. I couldn’t blame him, though. I would have been confused if I had been in his position.

After a minute of silence, the quiet became awkward so I coughed a little and then asked, “How are you feeling? You were out of it for quite a while.”

Yusei opened his mouth, ready to reply, when I heard Natalie scream,

“Oh noes! I’m so late! I can’t be late today!”

Used to Natalie’s panicked wake-up calls, I laughed quietly while Yusei looked a bit surprised. I turned to him and said, “That’s Natalie. It sounds like she’s freaking out about getting to work on time again. I’ll go check on her but rest here, ok? I’ll be back soon.”

I gave Yusei a soft smile before leaving the room. Although I couldn’t be sure, I doubted that he’d leave, as he would want answers on what happened.

In the hallway, I looked around for Natalie but decided to see if she were in Jack’s room. So I peeked inside the room and saw Jack sitting up on the bed, looking annoyed. I thought to myself,

He sure does behave like Jack from 5D’s but it might just be coincidence.

However, I saw no trace of Natalie. Seeing Jack awake, I said, “Hi. Good to see you awake. Have you seen Natalie?”

Jack turned his head towards my direction and noticing me for the first time, he replied sarcastically, “If you mean that girl who just ran out of here screaming that she’s late without bothering to answer my questions, yeah. She ran out of here and to the left.”

I nodded, realizing that Natalie had went to her room to get ready for work. I was about to leave Jack when he said, “Can you tell me what’s going on here? I want to know where I am, how I got here, and how much money you kidnappers want.”

I fought the urge to laugh out loud, figuring that Jack would probably be more annoyed than he already was if I reacted like so. Instead, I took a breath and replied, “I’ll answer all your questions. I can tell you one thing, though. You’re not prisoners here. We found you. I’ll be back soon. I should make sure that Natalie’s ok.”

I left Jack before he could reply and went to Natalie’s room. Once I arrived, I saw her frantically changing clothes and getting her things ready. I looked at her with amusement in my eyes and said,

“I see that you’re awake.”

Natalie looked at me briefly and then went back to her routine, replying, “Yeah. I wouldn’t have woken up at all had I not heard Jack’s voice.”

I replied, “That’s how you woke up. Well, couldn’t you call in sick today? These are special circumstances so you could do that.”

Natalie replied, “I want to but I’ve called in sick before and I can’t afford to do so again without possibly getting fired.”

I thought about Natalie’s predicament for a couple of minutes. I had a feeling that she would want to spend time with Jack, for she was already convinced from last night that the men who landed in our front yard were the same guys from 5D’s. Then I had an idea. Turning to Natalie while she was trying to get ready, I replied,

“I know. I’ll call the hospital and tell them you’re sick. They’ll probably ask me to do them a favor but it’s ok. I know you want to spend time with a certain someone today.”

Natalie blushed slightly as I alluded that she wanted to spend time with Jack. However, she looked happy and replied, “Would you do that? I would so owe you.”

I grinned and replied, “You totally would but sure. You’re my friend, after all.”

I left Natalie and picked up my cell phone. I dialed the hospital number and explained about Natalie not being able to come in. Although the hospital staff supervisor accepted the excuse, she asked me if I would come in sometime next week to do a reading for the children at the hospital and I happily accepted. I enjoyed reading for the children at the hospital whenever I had a chance to do so.

After getting off the phone, I returned to Natalie and said, “It’s all taken care of. I saw that Jack’s awake and he has questions, to say the least. Yusei’s awake as well so I think we should all go downstairs and then have the explanations.”

Natalie nodded and replied, “Ok. I’ll finish up here and take Jack to the living room.”

I nodded and then went into my room. I thought it was a good idea as well to change clothes and freshen up a bit. So I went into my bathroom to splash some water on my face and then went to the closet to grab a change of clothes. I wanted to be comfortable so I chose a pair of dark blue jeans and a light red T-shirt with the symbol of the phoenix on it. Then I tied my hair in a high ponytail and after making sure that I looked decent, I left my room and returned to Yusei.

Once I returned to Yusei’s room, I saw that he was sitting up and looking out the window. He looked to be deep in thought and it seemed almost a shame to disturb him when he was in such a state. It turned out that I didn’t need to, as he heard me return and turned to see me. I looked at him softly and said,

“Sorry about that but everything’s ok now. Your friend’s awake as well so Natalie and I thought that we should all go downstairs and then we can figure out what’s going on.”

For the first time, Yusei replied, “Jack’s here? I want to see him.”

I nodded and waited for Yusei to get out of bed and to put on his boots before leading the way to the living room. Yusei didn’t seem to need my help so I waited patiently until he was ready. Then I led the way downstairs and to the living room and there, I saw Natalie and Jack seated. Natalie was in an armchair looking like she was trying to contain her excitement while Jack sat on the sofa with his arms across his chest and annoyance written across his face.

Jack saw Yusei and immediately stood up, saying, “Yusei, no one’s telling me what’s going on here. It’s obvious that we’re being held for ransom! We need to get out of here, get my Wheel of Fortune, and find those dark signers who were chasing us.”

I stood a little back, listening to what Jack had said. Of course, Jack’s claim that Natalie and I were holding he and Yusei for ransom was ridiculous but what got my attention was the part about the dark signers. That was what Natalie and I had seen when we were watching 5D’s last night. Could Natalie be right? Could these two be Yusei and Jack from the same anime? It seemed unbelievable but this was another coincidence and even I didn’t believe in such a thing as too many coincidences.

Yusei faced Jack and putting his right hand on Jack’s left shoulder, he replied, “Calm down, Jack. I’m sure that everything will be explained soon and I doubt that these two are kidnappers. They don’t look like kidnappers.”

Then Yusei turned to Natalie and me and said, “I’m sorry about Jack but this is a little confusing.”

I glanced at Natalie, wondering whether she wanted to say something but she seemed to be a little too nervous at the moment so I decided to take the lead in speaking. I replied, “It’s ok. I think we should start with the introductions. I’m Callie Winthrop and this is Natalie Demark.” I gestured to Natalie who simply nodded.

Yusei nodded and replied, “I’m Yusei Fudo and this is Jack Atlas. It’s nice to meet you both.”

Jack simply grunted in reply but I didn’t take offense to that since I’d seen a lot worse behavior from people upon introducing themselves.

Yusei then looked at me and asked, “Can you tell us what happened?”

I took a deep breath and replied, “Sure. Natalie and I were watching TV here last night and then there was this bright flash of light outside. We went to check it out and saw you two both lying unconscious on our front yard. We took you inside and Natalie made sure that there were no injuries and thankfully there were none. And as to the mystery of your, umm…”

I didn’t know whether to call them duel runners or D-wheels so I trailed off but Yusei then said, “Our duel runners?”

I nodded and replied, “Yup, that’s it. I took the liberty of bringing them into our garage so they wouldn’t get stolen. That’s all we know.”

I paused for a few moments and then asked, “Do either of you remember what happened or how you got here? Natalie and I just found you so we have no explanations on that.”

Yusei accepted my explanation and Jack didn’t say anything so I assumed that he accepted it as well. Yusei then turned to me and replied, “I remember that Jack and I were riding in the streets of New Domino and then all of a sudden, these new dark signers showed up, wanting to challenge us to a duel. Then we saw a bright flash of light and the next thing we know, we wake up here. By the way, where is here exactly? This doesn’t look like one of the houses in New Domino.”

I replied, “Umm, this is our house and I don’t know how to say this but you’re not in New Domino. We’re closer to New York actually.” I decided not to mention that New Domino doesn’t exist in this world. I didn’t want to shock Yusei or Jack anymore than they probably already were. At the mention of New Domino, Natalie turned to me and with a look, it was like she was saying, Now do you believe that this is the same Jack and Yusei? At that point, I had to admit to myself that it looked to be the case. It was either that or these two men had gone delusional and really believed that they were Yusei and Jack from 5D’s.

Suddenly, Jack exclaimed, “What?! We have to get out of here now and get back to New Domino. Those dark signers will pay for this!”

Yusei sighed and replied calmly, “Jack, we’ll find a way to get back but first we have to find out how we got here and I have to see whether our duel runners got damaged.” He turned to me and said, “I’d like to see my duel runner so I can see how much damage it took and I should see to Jack’s, too.”

I nodded and replied, “Sure, I’ll take you to them now.”

As I was about to lead the way to the garage, Natalie finally spoke up and said, “But first, we need coffee and food. I’m sure Jack and Yusei must be starving, am I right?”

Jack replied, “Finally someone who understands. I want my blue eyes mountain.”

Feeling a little annoyed by Jack’s behavior, I gave him a look and replied, “None of the coffee shops here serve that so you’ll have to do without it.”

Jack looked like he was ready to reply back with a look of his own when Yusei spoke up and said, “There might be a good substitute for it, Jack.”

Natalie nodded and replied happily, “Yup, there should be. Why don’t I go out and buy coffee for everyone?”

Immediately, I shook my head and replied, “That’s not a good idea, Natalie, remember?” As Natalie had no idea what I was alluding to, I continued, “I told your supervisor that you were sick today so if you were suddenly seen in the city…”

Natalie blushed with embarrassment and replied, “Oh yeah. I forgot.”

Then I replied, “I’ll go get coffee and some donuts or something. I’ll be back in a little while.” I left the living room and as I was getting my keys, including the ones for my car, I heard footsteps close behind me. I turned around and saw that Yusei had followed me. As I was about to speak, Yusei said,

“I’d like to give you an extra set of hands. It’s the least I could do after you and your friend helped us.”

Yusei gave such a warm smile that I found it difficult to refuse. I remembered seeing that same smile in 5D’s although it wasn’t often that I saw it. However, seeing it as well as the man before me made me feel a little shy which was so unlike me.

As we stood facing each other, I realized that I hadn’t given an answer so I replied, “Oh sure. That would be great. Follow me then.”

Then I led the way out of the house and to my car which was parked in the garage. After Yusei and I got in, I started the car and off we went towards the city.

Note: I hope that I got Yusei's and Jack's personalities right but I'm not totally sure. I've been looking into them and there's a conflict with Jack's so I'm not sure where I'll go with him for now.

Also, I ended the chapter here, as it was already getting to be fairly long. The next chapter will continue from the same day. ^^
Back to top Go down
Miss Nile
.
.
Miss Nile


Female
Number of posts : 60416
Age : 28
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyWed Feb 08, 2012 1:23 pm

Hooray for the new chapter. Very Happy This one was awesome. Honestly, phoenix, I think you pictured Jack and Yusei quite right. In fact, I really love how you pictured Jack; completely funny as he is in the anime. xD

And yup, this was one was nicely long. Looking forward for the next chapters. Wink
Back to top Go down
https://snowrosegames.forumotion.com
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyThu Feb 09, 2012 12:06 am

Thanks. ^^ I hope I'd gotten them right. And I remember how funny Jack is in the anime so I wanted that part to be seen here. XD
Back to top Go down
ELIE-3173
.
.
ELIE-3173


Female
Number of posts : 2026
Age : 37
Location : Malaysia
Title : Lady Xάος (Khaos)
Registration date : 2008-06-15

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptySat Feb 11, 2012 7:55 am

I'm not much of a Yu Gi Oh fan, used to read but didn't managed to continue following it so I'm not too familar with Yu Gi Oh related themes Razz

Anyhow, I do enjoy the story and would like to see how it goes Smile
Back to top Go down
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptySun Feb 12, 2012 11:43 pm

Hi Elie,

Fortunately, for this story, it's not necessary to know much about Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's. I'll only refer to the series when it comes to segments of episodes and such. ^^
Back to top Go down
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyThu Feb 16, 2012 8:40 am

Somehow I found a way to get a new chapter out this week so I'm posting it now. It's pretty late here for me so certain things may not be correct. Please let me know if I didn't get Yusei's or Jack's personalities correct and all that. Thanks. ^^

Chapter 4:

The drive to the city started out relatively quiet. Neither Yusei nor I spoke as we were on the road heading towards the city. I was convinced that the man sitting next to me was Yusei and that, back at the house, the guy with Natalie was Jack. As I drove on, I had a few thoughts racing in my head. First, I wondered how Yusei and Jack were able to enter this world. Such a phenomenon definitely shouldn’t have happened and yet it did. I had no explanations although I would be sure to search for them. Second, I thought about how Yusei and Jack would be able to return to their world, if they were able to do so at all. Although I was pretty certain that Natalie wouldn’t mind if Jack stayed forever-and I had to admit to myself that it wouldn’t be so bad if Yusei could stay here-the conscientious part of me knew that they had to return to New Domino and set things right. I had a feeling that if they didn’t, the story in the anime would become messed up somehow and the fans would be in for quite a shock. Also, at least for Yusei, Jack, and the other people in New Domino, New Domino was real to them, even if to others, it was only an anime series.

Finally, I had a nervous feeling inside of me. Unlike Natalie who was quite excited and overjoyed that she finally met her crush Jack, I had butterflies in my stomach. I wasn’t sure what this feeling was. It wasn’t that I was unhappy to finally meet Yusei. In fact, the feeling was the opposite. However, to meet the man whom I compared other men to stirred a feeling inside of me that I never felt before. For myself, I have high expectations when it comes to meeting the right guy. I wonder if this was why I hadn’t found him yet. But then I started watching Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s and got to know Yusei. He embodied all of the traits that I was looking for in the right man and I told myself that if I ever found such a man in this world who even came close to him, I would consider settling down. However, I hadn’t found such a man so when I saw Yusei before me, I wondered whether it was a sign. Would it be possible to have a relationship with him and perhaps finally be happy? Quickly, I shook my head, thinking to myself,

Stop it, Callie. Even if you wanted to, you can’t mess things up for everybody else. Yusei and Akiza are meant to be together and you can’t fight fate.

I must have been quiet for too long since Yusei suddenly looked at me with slight concern in his eyes and asked,

“Are you all right? You shook your head just now.”

Mentally, I smacked myself for even revealing a glimmer of my thoughts although fortunately for me, Yusei had no idea what I was thinking. I briefly glanced at him before turning my eyes back to the road, saying,

“I’m fine. Probably just didn’t sleep well last night or something.”

Although I couldn’t see Yusei’s reaction to my response, I had a feeling that he knew I wasn’t telling the truth and so he replied,

“There’s something more but I won’t press about it. You can tell me when you feel ready, ok?”

His voice sounded gentle and soothing and I felt my cheeks suddenly burning. Fortunately, we finally arrived in the city and I looked around for the usual coffee shop that Natalie and I went to order coffee. I parked the car in a lot next to the shop and after Yusei and I went out of the car, I led the way to the coffee shop.

Once inside the shop, I looked around and fortunately, it wasn’t crowded. I wanted to order coffee and some donuts or pastries quickly and then return to the house. Although, at this time, there were mostly adults hanging around and a lot of them don’t watch anime, I didn’t want to take the risk that Yusei could be identified. I knew that I would have to tell him the whole truth eventually but now wasn’t the time.

I approached the manager of the shop who recognized me as a regular customer as well as a famous patron. She saw Yusei standing next to me and with a smile on her face, she said,

“Good morning, Ms. Callie. You’re here for the usual, I assume? And it looks like you finally got yourself a boyfriend.”

I shook my head quickly and replied, “No, no, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a friend. This is Yusei.” I gestured towards Yusei and I could see that his cheeks had a slight blush, probably from embarrassment at being called my boyfriend.

The manager laughed a bit and replied, “I see. My apologies. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing if he were your boyfriend, though. Certain people would get off your case.”

I sighed and replied, “I suppose. If you’re not too busy, would you get the usual order for Natalie and me?” I turned to Yusei and asked, “What do you like? You look like someone who likes black coffee with no sugar or anything of the sort but I could be wrong. And what about Jack? I have no idea which coffee here would come close to what he usually orders.”

Yusei replied, “Black coffee’s fine. As for Jack, I don’t really know what a blue eyes mountain tastes like. Crow tried it once and said it tastes horrible. He has no idea how Jack can stand that stuff but if I had to guess, it might taste like one of those mint coffees?”

I nodded and looked at the menu, choosing a coffee that would be closest to what a blue eyes mountain might taste like. I gave the order to the manager along with a large order of donuts, pastries, and bagels. I wanted to make sure that we had enough food for everyone.

After the manager left to fulfill the order, I turned to Yusei and said, “I’m sorry about that-the thing about being called my boyfriend.”

Yusei shook his head and replied, “It’s all right but I am curious. What did she mean about certain people getting on your case?”

I replied, “It’s a long story but let’s just say it has to do with certain family members as well as a certain agent who refuses to leave me alone at times.” Yusei looked confused when I mentioned agent so I clarified by saying, “I’m a writer and I’ve had a couple of books published so I have a publicity agent and all. Quite troublesome, though. I’d rather be left alone to let my creativity flow than be bombarded with public image and all that.”

Yusei nodded and replied, “I see. I understand what you mean about being in the public spotlight. I don’t like being in front of it, either.”

I remembered watching an episode of 5D’s where Yusei had won the Fortune Cup tournament and all the press were chasing him, wanting to get an interview. However, Yusei managed to escape them so I thought that he might have been referring to that incident at the mention of the public spotlight.

Our coffee order as well as food arrived and after I paid for everything, I said goodbye to the manager and led the way back to the car. Yusei and I got in my car and then we began the drive back to my house. It was pretty quiet on the way back as well although I did at one point say,

“After we have coffee, we’ll take a look at your duel runner and see if it’s ok. I don’t have much knowledge about mechanics but I hope it’s ok.”

Yusei replied, “Thank you. Same here.”

We arrived back at the house and I parked the car in the garage. Then we entered through the front door and to the living room and there was Natalie and Jack sitting together on the sofa. It looked like Natalie was doing her best to talk to Jack while trying not to sound too excited. Jack heard Yusei and me enter and said,

“Finally you’re back. What took so long?”

I felt annoyed by Jack’s behavior and gave Natalie a look that said,

How in the world can you stand this guy?

However, Yusei replied, “Sorry, Jack. It did take a while but we have a lot of food and you’re probably hungry.”

Yusei handed Jack his coffee along with the bag of food and that seemed to satisfy Jack for the time being. I gave Natalie her usual coffee and I took my usual while Yusei took his. Yusei then turned to me and asked,

“Can I look at our duel runners? I can drink coffee while looking at them.”

I nodded and replied, “Sure, no problem.”

Yusei turned to Jack and said, “I’ll come back when I know what’s going on.”

Jack replied, “Hurry back soon.” After taking a sip of his coffee, he turned to me and said, “It’s not bad but it’s no blue eyes.”

I simply rolled my eyes and then led the way to the garage where I put Yusei’s and Jack’s duel runners last night.

Once we arrived in the garage, I pointed to the duel runners and Yusei walked over to them. He looked at his duel runner first and then Jack’s Wheel of Fortune. I sat a little distance away from Yusei so he could have his space and think. Quietly, I observed him and although I knew that he was pretty good at hiding his emotions, I could see from the look in his eyes as well as the position of his mouth that things weren’t good. I looked at him and asked,

“Is everything ok? Is your duel runner all right?”

Yusei looked back at me and with worry in his voice, he replied, “This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all…”
Back to top Go down
Miss Nile
.
.
Miss Nile


Female
Number of posts : 60416
Age : 28
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyThu Feb 16, 2012 1:05 pm

Oooh a cliffhanger. I want the next chapter, now. xD

But really, nice chapter, phoenix. I can understand Callie's feelings towards Yusei and how she is trying to get together seeing an anime guy in front of her. Although I still don't like Yusei himself. Razz

And Yusei's and Jack's personalities seem pretty fine to me. ^^
Back to top Go down
https://snowrosegames.forumotion.com
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyThu Feb 16, 2012 11:24 pm

lol I hadn't intended to leave the chapter on a cliffhanger but it gives me motivation to get the next chapter out sooner. I probably won't be able to get a new one out until after this weekend and all. XD

And no worries about Yusei. Means I can have him all to myself. Razz

And in case of curiosity, I'm considering eventually posting this story on Fanfiction.net so I want to be sure that I have details and such correct first before doing so. ^^
Back to top Go down
Miss Nile
.
.
Miss Nile


Female
Number of posts : 60416
Age : 28
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyFri Feb 17, 2012 3:49 am

Ahh yup, that would be cool. On fanfiction.net, I think you can get some nice constructive criticism on how to make the story better and all.

You should make a solid summary first though; to attract the attention and all that. ^^ Good luck. :>
Back to top Go down
https://snowrosegames.forumotion.com
ELIE-3173
.
.
ELIE-3173


Female
Number of posts : 2026
Age : 37
Location : Malaysia
Title : Lady Xάος (Khaos)
Registration date : 2008-06-15

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyFri Feb 17, 2012 8:58 am

Yay, new chapter! I've been needing something to distract me from my current routine. Razz

Not sure about out-of-character parts, but the story does seemed fine to me.

Whether the cliff hanger was there intentionally or not, it added an air of suspense *dramatic music* Very Happy
Back to top Go down
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyTue Feb 21, 2012 6:53 am

I have the next chapter all ready so I'm posting it now. I'd like comments especially on whether the story seems realistic. Of course, I know that it's fiction and all but when I read fiction, I want to feel myself engaged in the story. And if you've read other fanfiction, I'm curious to know how this one compares to them. Thank you. ^^

Chapter 5:

I waited for a response from Yusei, wondering what was wrong. However, he only stared at me. I couldn’t figure out if it was because he was in too much shock to tell me or if he thought that I wouldn’t understand what was wrong. So I put down my coffee on a nearby table and walked over to Yusei’s duel runner to take a closer look.

I looked at it for a minute and although I had absolutely no knowledge about duel runners, some of the components didn’t look that much different from those of a computer. Yusei had opened up the outer panel of his duel runner so I could see where the damage was. Some of the wires looked like they had been burned and some of the circuits looked damaged beyond recognition.

Facing Yusei, I replied, “It looks like some of the parts of your duel runner are heavily damaged. It seems like they’ve been through an intense fire or something.”

Yusei looked surprised that I had closely identified the problem but nodding, he replied, “Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. Jack’s has the same damage. We did take heavy damage from those dark signers but I didn’t think it would be so bad.”

I replied, “I see. Do you think you can repair the damage?”

Yusei replied, “I can but the problem is the parts. If I was back in New Domino, I could easily order the parts and use my computer to inspect the damage further but…”

Although Yusei trailed off, I understood his point. Getting the parts as well as a new computer along with the software, for I knew that Yusei needed special software to inspect his duel runner, would be quite expensive and he probably didn’t have the money to pay for them. Immediately, I replied,

“I got it. Let’s go into the city and find the parts as well as a new computer. I’ll pay for everything. Then you’ll be able to fix your duel runner.”

Yusei shook his head and replied, “That’s very kind of you but I can’t let you do that.”

I shook my head and with a soft smile, I replied, “I’d be happy to. You and Jack need to go back and if I can help, I certainly will.”

Yusei looked like he was about to refuse my offer again when I continued, “I’m not taking no for an answer. End of discussion.” I was firm on my offer to help and wasn’t going to back down. I wasn’t sure what Yusei was thinking at that moment but if I had to guess, I’d bet that he was surprised that I wanted to help him when I knew that he was the one used to helping others.

Finally, Yusei gave me a smile that I recognized and that made my heart melt at times and replied,

“How can I refuse? Thank you. Let’s go tell Jack and then drive to the city to get the parts.”

I nodded and led the way back to the living room where I could see Jack and Natalie talking to one another. Well, it looked like Natalie was doing more of the talking although it seemed like Jack was taking an interest in what she was saying. Jack heard Yusei and me enter and looked at us although he didn’t say anything. I guess he was waiting for either one of us to speak.

Yusei looked at Jack and said, “The damage is worse than I thought but I can fix them. I’ll need to buy the parts to repair our duel runners and Callie was kind to offer to pay for them.”

Jack replied, “I see. So we’re stuck here until then.”

Yusei replied, “Yeah, looks like it.”

Natalie turned to Jack and said, “Then this will be a great chance to show you around. I’m sure you’d be bored stuck in this house all day.”

I didn’t think that it was such a good idea for Natalie to take Jack outside since it was possible that someone could recognize him and that the truth would come out sooner than I would have wanted. I looked at Natalie and said,

“Umm can I speak to you for a few minutes alone?”

Natalie looked confused but nodded and replied, “Ok.” She turned to Jack and said, “I’ll be right back.” She and I then walked out of the living room and stopped at the front hall entrance. Once we were alone, I looked at Natalie and said,

“I know you’re excited to see Jack and all but I think it’s a bad idea to take him outside. What if someone recognizes him? You know, a total stranger could point to Jack and say, ‘Hey, isn’t that Jack Atlas from Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s?’ What then? How would we explain it to them?”

Natalie replied, “Well, couldn’t we just tell them the truth if that happens?”

I shook my head and replied, “They need to know but not right now. The shock would be too much. If we were in their shoes, how do you think we’d react?”

Natalie thought about my words for a minute and then sighing, she replied, “Ok, I see your point. But maybe Jack can be in disguise? You remember that episode where he and Carly were walking around in New Domino and Jack had that disguise on. That could work here.”

I replied, “Yeah, that could work. Only one problem is how to convince Jack to use a disguise. He’s not the type to want to hide himself.”

Natalie replied, “That part’s easy. I’ll explain that he’s very famous and that if he wants to avoid being mobbed by fan girls, he should wear a disguise!”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little at Natalie reply but I agreed that it was a plausible idea. Nodding, I replied, “Ok, I’m fine with that.”

Natalie grinned and was about to go back to the living room when she faced me again and said, “Wait a minute. You took Yusei out and didn’t make him wear a disguise. What gives? And he’s even more recognizable than Jack.”

I replied, “You’re right but Yusei and I went out in the morning and most of the people who know him are kids and they’re in school right now. Most of the adults around here don’t watch anime, you know. We’re the exception, and, so far, Yusei hasn’t been recognized. Besides, he’s not going to make himself stand out, unlike Jack. Yusei’s like me in that way.” I blushed a little after having said the latter comment, feeling a connection with Yusei in that neither of us liked having the attention.

Natalie noticed my blush and pointing at my face, she replied, “I knew it. You’re falling for him.”

I shook my head vehemently and replied, “No, no, not at all. It’s just cool that we end up having something in common, that’s all.”

Natalie replied, “If you say so but I bet that you’re going to end up falling in love with him before long.”

I was about to reply, denying Natalie’s words, when I heard footsteps approaching. I looked over Natalie’s right shoulder and I saw Yusei approach us. He looked at the two of us and asked,

“Is everything ok?”

Natalie replied, “Oh yes, everything’s fine. We were done. I’ll go back to Jack now.” She then went back to the living room to keep Jack company.

Once Yusei and I were alone, Yusei looked at me and said, “I’d like to go into the city and get the parts that we need so we’ll need to go into a hardware store and a computer shop. I can program the software myself as long as I have the parts that I need. Are you sure you’re ok with this?”

I nodded and replied happily, “Of course. I totally want to help so you have to accept or else I’ll be insulted.” I gave Yusei a cute pout and he chuckled happily. I never heard him laugh before but it was a pleasant sound to my ears and I turned off to the side, hoping that I wouldn’t blush. It seemed that whenever Yusei was around or the topic of conversation revolved around him, I couldn’t help but blush. That definitely didn’t happen with other men so without a doubt, there was something different, something special, about Yusei that made me feel warm and happy inside.

After a few moments of silence between us, Yusei said, “Thank you again. We should get going.”

I nodded and replied, “You’re right. I’ll drive.”

Yusei and I then went back into my car and I drove again towards the city, heading towards first the hardware store and then the computer and electronics shop to buy the items needed to help Yusei fix the duel runners.
Back to top Go down
Miss Nile
.
.
Miss Nile


Female
Number of posts : 60416
Age : 28
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyTue Feb 21, 2012 12:48 pm

Ahh now I know what is the cliffhanger. xD

An awesome chapter as usual. ^^ I personally think that the story is perfectly realistic. It does reflect the idea of anime characters entering our real world and how they would face troubles after that. ^^

Perhaps my only complain is that it lacks a little adventure. You know, as this is a fanfiction for an anime such as Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's, which is full of hot events, one would expect it to be like it in so. Not that it makes the story less interesting or anything, but it would surely make it only more amazing. ^^

Looking forward to the next chapter. =D
Back to top Go down
https://snowrosegames.forumotion.com
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyWed Feb 22, 2012 12:06 am

Ahh I see. That is a valid criticism. I intended for the fanfic to be a romance and drama one with a touch of humor so I wasn't thinking of adding an adventure aspect to it. I could do so. The only problem, though, is that in the series, the characters would duel and I'm not very well-versed in all the rules of dueling according to the 5D's universe. I'm ok with the rules according to the original Yu-Gi-Oh series and GX since they use the same rules but 5D's is something else. lol Still, I'll see where I can take it.

It might be possible to put some adventure but it wouldn't occur until several chapters later. This fanfic is longer than I had intended it to be but maybe that's a good thing. Razz
Back to top Go down
Miss Nile
.
.
Miss Nile


Female
Number of posts : 60416
Age : 28
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyWed Feb 22, 2012 1:17 am

Ahh I didn't mean adventure in that way. But I mean, you know, more hot events? Razz The story is perfectly nice and all but I think it would make it more interesting if there were more exciting things going on and all.

And I can definitely understand about the dueling part. It took me a while to understand it, too. Razz
Back to top Go down
https://snowrosegames.forumotion.com
phoenixgirl
.
.
phoenixgirl


Female
Number of posts : 62234
Age : 45
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One EmptyWed Feb 22, 2012 2:50 am

Hmm I'm wondering what you mean. For example, like if the dark signers happened to enter the real world or if Natalie was kidnapped or something like that?
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





Finding the One Empty
PostSubject: Re: Finding the One   Finding the One Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Finding the One
Back to top 
Page 1 of 6Go to page : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Snow Rose Games :: Show your work :: Writing-
Jump to: