Chapter Twelve - Part Two
I can’t quite describe the feelings I felt when I saw Rosaline like that, peacefully closing her eyes as she listened to my music. There was even a look of dreaminess on her face; I suppose she had been enjoying listening to my serene tunes. But was she aware that I had seen her? I doubted it; she didn’t even seem to realize that I had stopped playing and that there was no music playing anymore.
Realizing that I couldn’t just stand and stare at her, I decided to make a move, and carefully stepped up to her, gently touching her shoulder. She was startled, jumping up in astonishment. When her eyes met mine, there was a look of faze in them, then it turned to hesitation and embarrassment, which was even translated into a rosy blush across her cheeks.
I had to break the silence. We couldn’t just stand and stare awkwardly at each other like that, not when we were used to being the best and closest friends of all time. We could never feel embarrassed in front of each other, and I didn’t want things to change because of a silly move I made. No, I couldn’t let that happen.
I took a deep breath, and then gathering all possible courage, I broke the silence with,
“You have...been here for long?”
She turned her gaze away to avoid looking into my eyes, a gesture which hurt me in a way. Then quietly, she replied,
“Not really...just for a little while since you’ve been playing the harmonica.”
I nodded and deciding to keep the conversation going to avoid another awkward silence, I replied,
“Umm I thought you’d be sleeping by now.”
“Was it you then who...?” Came her reply, which slowly trailed off. I felt embarrassed and awkward but knowing I had to reply, I took a deep breath and said,
““I...I saw you sleeping back there on the grass out in the cold and well...I couldn't just leave you there. So I...umm, carried you to your room. I am sorry if it bothered you but-”
I didn’t know much more I could say, but fortunately, Rosaline quickly interrupted me to say,
“It's alright; you did it for me, didn't you?”
I nodded slowly, but I found nothing else to say. I felt stupid. Should I bring the subject up, of my confession? Should I tell her to forget the whole matter but I didn’t want to lose her? Should I tell her to forgive me if my confession had hurt her?
I was lost in my thoughts, I suppose, but then I heard Rosaline speak up, her voice has a tone of hesitation,
“Umm...you play so beautifully, William. I am surprised that for the long time I knew you, I didn't know that you play the harmonica.”
I looked up to her and nodded automatically, smiling as much as I could but I couldn’t bring myself up to talk. She continued,
“Umm I should go back to my room now. I'll see you...later.”
She turned around and began to walk away, and I don’t know how or what came on me that suddenly brought me courage enough to reach out and touch her arm, stopping her. She turned to me with a baffled look and letting my heart do the work, I looked at her with all the love and passion I had for her, all the tenderness. Gathering my courage to speak, I softly said,
“Rosaline, I-I am sorry because of what happened yesterday. I didn't mean to upset you and you don't know how much I suffered today when I didn't see you for the whole day-and I couldn't. Please, Rosaline, forgive me and forget everything I said. If it's going to destroy our friendship, if it's going to-”
I wanted to say more, to tell her of how I could never risk losing our friendship for anything, that I loved her so much that I simply wanted her presence around me, nothing more, not even returning my feelings. But she reached out and touched my lips delicately with her finger, and I don’t know, but she fell in my arms as she did so. So close to me, she gazed into my eyes and softly said,
“Don't, William, don't. Don't tell me to forgive you, alright? You did nothing wrong when you...when you confessed your love for me. Okay, so I was surprised, astonished and so but you did nothing wrong, ok?”
I was surprised and honestly, I am not sure if it were because I had Rosaline in my arms or because of her words. However, I gathered my thoughts and replied,
“So, you’re not angry at me?”
She shook her head and smiled at me sweetly, replying, “I am not.”
I gazed at her smile for a few moments and was dazzled by her beauty, and hadn’t it been for the nature of the moment, I would have leaned in to kiss her again. Realizing that my arms were still around her, I slowly let go, and she then said,
“I should go now.”
I nodded to her, and she went on her way, returning to her room. I looked on as she disappeared from my view, admiring her sight. I wasn’t sure how to feel after this encounter but I definitely had a feeling of relief over me; relief that at least, I could see Rosaline again and spend time with her normally, without having to worry about any awkwardness. And in a way, perhaps there was hope for her to return my love one day. And I’d wait for it, for as long as it was inside my heart.
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Finally a chapter. It's been hard to write anything lately. :/ Well, this actually isn't long enough for a chapter, so we can consider it as an another installment of the previous chapter. ~Enjoy
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